What a Singles Mixer Actually Is
A singles mixer is a social night where the room is full of single people who came out to meet other single people. That is the entire premise, and it is a refreshingly simple one. You walk into a public venue, order a drink if you feel like it, and start talking with whoever is standing nearby. Some conversations last a couple of minutes. Some carry on for the rest of the evening. A few turn into a new friendship, a group chat, or a date the following weekend.
Adeline Farrer started Singles Mingle after she got tired of online dating and couldn't find places where singles were actually gathering. Her answer was to get singles off the apps and back into the same room. Every mixer follows that idea: real people, a lively atmosphere, and zero pressure to perform.
Nobody hands you a script. Chat with someone new, circle back to a person you met earlier, or step outside for a breather. It works because it feels like a good night out that happens to be full of singles.
Mixer, Not Speed Dating
These two get confused constantly, so here is the plain version: Singles Mingle does not run speed dating. Speed dating usually seats you across from a series of people for a few minutes each, a timer or bell moves everyone along, and you jot down the names you liked. It is structured on purpose.
A mixer has no rotation and no clock. Who you talk to, and for how long, is entirely up to you. When a conversation is going well, nobody interrupts it. When it is not, you can politely drift on to the next group. We think that freedom leads to more natural connection, and it takes away the feeling of being graded. It also leaves room for friendship. Walking out with a new friend counts as a great night here.
What the Night Looks Like
Most mixers run about three hours. Friday and Saturday events tend to land at 6 to 9 PM, 7 to 10 PM or 7:30 to 10:30 PM. Sunday mixers usually happen in the afternoon or early evening, often 3 to 6 PM, 4 to 7 PM or 5 to 8 PM. The exact window is always on the event page.
You do not have to arrive right at the start. Walking in early makes it easier to say hello to the handful of people near the bar before the room fills, while arriving once things are humming suits anyone who likes a crowd to blend into. Look for the Singles Mingle host if you want someone to say hi to first.
Coming alone is completely normal at a singles night. The whole event is designed for people who walk in solo, and every mixer is held at a public venue. If your nerves are loud, give yourself one small goal, like introducing yourself to a single person in your first fifteen minutes, and let the rest unfold.
Where Our 21 & Up Mixers Happen
The calendar moves around the region on purpose, so a singles night is never too far from home. A sample of this year's venues:
- San Francisco: DecoDance, Southern Pacific Brewing and Zoe Bar
- Oakland and Berkeley: Mad Oak and Brix Factory Brewing in Oakland, plus Cali Club in Berkeley
- Southern Alameda County: Storybook in Hayward, O'Sullivans Sport Bar in Newark and Danny Murry's Irish Pub in San Leandro
- South Bay: Britannia Arms Almaden, The Willow Den and Mimosas in Willow Glen in San Jose, Big Al's in Milpitas and the Ameswell Hotel in Mountain View
- Tri-Valley and Contra Costa: Rebel Kitchen & Libations and Pruett Farms in Livermore, Cellar Door in Pleasanton, the Renaissance Hotel and Headlands Brewery in Walnut Creek, Side Gate Brew and Beer Garden in Concord and the Lafayette Park Hotel
- Farther afield: Pond Farm Brewing Co. in San Rafael and Shanty Shack in Santa Cruz
Special nights have included an evening at the ballpark with the Oakland Ballers (the tickets were free), a mixer at the San Mateo Public Library, and Halloween Eve and Halloween mixers. Each city has its own page, such as singles events in Oakland or singles events in San Jose, where upcoming dates appear as they are added.
Entry, RSVP and Paying at the Door
Most of our mixers are free entry. A few carry a door price, usually $10, which is listed on the event page before you RSVP, so nothing catches you off guard. Nothing is ever charged online. The RSVP itself asks for a name and email (a phone number is optional), it costs nothing, and a confirmation email lands in your inbox. If that night has a door price, you settle it when you walk in.
The RSVP matters because it lets Adeline know you are coming. Pick a date on the events calendar, fill in the short form, and that is it. If a friend wants to join you, they can RSVP with their own name and email.
